not (that) old, not a dog (maybe a bitch), but learning new tricks(?)

Well gee. I THOUGHT it would be easy enough to start a blog. That the hard part of it would be having something to say, and wanting to say it outside my head (which is also a hard part). But it’s 2025 – shouldn’t we be able to think an internet post into existence? Instead, here I am reading from a real, in-my-hands, coincidentally-found-on-my-bookshelf, published in 2013, probably-purchased-by-my-boyfriend-but-he-can’t-remember-that-far-back-because-who-can-these-days BOOK, doing its best to teach me how to word press.

However I’m choosing this method, over something like a YouTube video or a Reddit post. Because – analogue. I’m leaning into analogue, baby! Not exclusively, obviously. I am not posting on parchment in the community square. But I have become so reliant on the internet to help with and do anything and everything I ever don’t want to. That has leaked over into taking on the things that I don’t mind, or maybe even like doing. It’s gotten so bad, it’s left me feeling like maybe I don’t like doing anything, but that can’t be right. I mean, there’s analogue major depressive disorder, sure, we go way back. But this is different. Almost a feeling that I couldn’t or shouldn’t do anything, because technology or someone else on the internet could already do it, and do it better.

This is surely not the world Al Gore wanted when he created the world wide web! It’s 2025. I’ve been through the AOL chatrooms, instant messenger, Myspace top 8, Facebook when you had to be invited. You know. The good old days. Now I spend hours doomscrolling through short videos of strangers to distract myself from my own thoughts (or lack there of?).

No. Now I’m decidedly getting back to the roots. Using the internet to feel more connected and present rather than dissociated and isolated. Back to what Al Gore wanted, not A.I. Gore. Not giving in. Not right now.

Ugh. Now I want to insert a gif of Jennifer Coolidge in Best In Show, eating a giant bucket of popcorn. “Don’t go right now“. But I can’t find one that exists and I don’t know how to make a gif. So I guess I need to learn how to do that too. I doubt that “how to” is available in my 2013 book on word press, so I guess I’ll have to take it to the internet. Damn.

In other news, I’m on track with my psychiatrist to start ADHD medication at the end of October, so that should be helpful.

Anyhoops.

TTYL!